Freedom Challenge Day 3

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 3.

I seem to be hitting a roadblock with the most recent challenges. I spent all day yesterday thinking about it, and even started writing, but the truth is nothing feels right anymore. I have no idea what the perfect day would look like and when I try to picture it whatever I come up with feels hollow.

I’ve put so many years into picture myself in an idealized place in the future and the only thing I’ve learned is that I don’t know what I want because nothing sticks. What I really need is to focus on doing whatever I want to do in the present moment and learning to listen to myself.

-A.

Freedom Challenge Day 2

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 2.

Why do I want to live the freedom lifestyle?

Well, I certainly haven’t found my ‘why’ statement. I’ve spent far too much time in my life searching for just that answer to have an ah-ha! moment with this one, instead it will likely be a long process getting going.

One of the questions was ‘At a time when you were at your best what were you contributing?’ The problem is that I’ve recently realized I’ve never given my best at anything in my life. And to be honest, I can’t recall a single moment where I have done something impactful. I’ve always just sort of drifted through without focus or direction. That’s not to say that haven’t managed to impact people around me, but that’s not through the benefit of any particular purposeful endeavour on my end but just a natural result of, you know, extended personal interaction.

So after listening to the podcast I put ‘Start with Why’ and ‘Leaders Eat Last’ on hold at my library and will pick them up and hope for a new sifting method this week.

As for why I want to live the freedom lifestyle? I just don’t want to feel smothered by indecision and uncertainty anymore. And I want to create a pattern of movement, a habit of exploration and a way out of my rut.

 

-A.

Freedom Challenge Day 1

This blog post is in response to This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 1.

This blog was actually created for this challenge, though I’ve managed to be a day late to start.

I think my main challenges are my addiction to escaping and lack of a community that would encourage growth.

I sometimes manage to start down the road towards healthier habits or patterns but always allow myself to fall back into escapism, and procrastination, of the things that would improve my quality of life or allow me to grow. This tends to lead to feelings of failure, which is not pleasant and usually leads to burrowing further into escaping myself and I’m basically just reinforcing my problem behaviors.

Perhaps a solution is to forgive myself when I fall. In the moment when I realize I’m escaping I start mentally congratulating myself on continuing to be a useless blob instead of an active participant in life. Instead I can take a breath, shrug, and say with a smile ‘Oops, reminder to focus!’ I think moving forward will be a more natural progression if I’m not bunkering down to hide from my own emotional state.

Creating or finding a community that gives me inspiration and motivation will help make it easier to shrug things off when I do fall or face difficulties. Just like in meditation, the expectation is that my mind will wander, but the point is to recognize it and gently redirect my focus into my breathing. I guess I just didn’t see how much that applied on a wider scope until just now.

-A.